In this post I would like to give you some practical suggestions, based on years of experience both as a professional submissive as well as a switch provider, on how to be or become a good dom . I hope that you will find them useful; whether you are a beginner who is interested in stepping on the journey of a Dom or someone more experienced.
How to be a good Dom
In my opinion, the most basic thing in a dom-sub relationship is mutual respect. This means that the dom must respect the sub and vice versa. Without respect, the sub will feel vulnerable and most likely at some point, her boundaries, will be crossed.
The second most important factor is clear communication between the two parties. The dom must listen to the sub and be well aware of her/his boundaries. These include, for example, establishing a safe word(s). Commonly used ones are mercy or, during spanking red/orange/green. Red obviously means stop or no more. Orange permits the dom to go on but stay on the same level. Green is a definite yes. There are certain BDSM games where the mouth is deprived either with a ball gag or by wearing a hood. In this case, the parties need to agree on a signal other than a word, for example moving the little finger.
Other important factors
Another important task of a good dom is care. He/she must look after the sub during the whole time. This involves checking – in with the sub during as well as after the play (so called after-care which means both physical and psychological care).
Last but not least, when toys or tools are included in the play, the dom must know the equipment he/she plans to use on the sub. Beginners may take their time and get to know their tools, alternatively, ask the sub about instructions. No need to shy away from using them. They can be fun and spice up the play. It just takes practice. In my opinion, using rope can be quite difficult and requires extensive experience and knowledge in anatomy. Other than that, most of the toys and tools are relatively simply to use.
BDSM relationships
BDSM relationships are based on trust. Meeting a dom for the first time can be challenging for the sub. Because of this, it is necessary that they have clear communication and establish well-defined boundaries in advance.
Do not forget. The sub can always say no. However, to avoid any disappointment, it is much better to discuss beforehand what the other party enjoys and feels comfortable with. This way, both the dom and the sub will be satisfied and content.
If I woke up your interest and you would like to arrange a play date with me please Contact me – Catherine Schneider (submissivefetishescort.com).
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